Friday 26 September 2014

BEZUBA, EPILOGUE

~BEZUBA~


~EPILOGUE~




Geet was making bed but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Just hours ago he had held her so delicately; submerging her body into his like it was the end of the world. The sweets words he had cooed in her ears while they had snuggled together were like a calming melody. His arms around her were heaven in its purest form and with how hard she had been struggling with herself since last few days her tired mind had given up, like a stupid she had fallen asleep. Now he wasn’t here and that broke her heart. She felt like crying and screaming. The restlessness was too much to take. The fear that he would leave her was consuming. But where would he go? After confessing his love like that, after giving in. This was his house after all and she also knew that he wouldn’t just leave her like this after what had happened this morning.

But still she feared immensely. He was unpredictable and just as much complicated. Only god knew what he thought. Phir babaji aapne unhe jane kyu dia? She asked.
 
She hadn’t known that she was going to forgive him until that moment when she finally did it. There wasn’t any need of some proof. Despite his hiding of the truth she knew her Maan who was living with her for more than two years and she realized not too late that she trusted him more than he trusted himself. He wasn’t what he confessed. When he said he didn’t rape her in front of her relatives, she believed him. Believed him, because, he could lie to her for her good but couldn’t lie to others about something that he considered a sin.
 
Nothing could remove that moment from her mind when he said he loved her n that he would never hurt her, like she needed to hear it. She very well knew that he would never ever even think about hurting her. Then why he had left. A tear trickled down her eye. When she hadn’t seen him beside her in the bed after waking up the world had seemed to shatter. It seemed everything had come to an end all over again when she had thought that bad times were over. All she had wanted was to cry to someone and she had gone straight to Dadimaa, to complain about her grandson.
 
Humne suna aapke ghar se log aaye the?
 
Geet nodded. Haan, Tayaji aur Taayi ji. Teeji veerji bhi saath the.
 
Kya chahiye tha un- Dadimaa’s mouth hung open. Aap… bol sakti hai?
 
Haan. He didn’t do it Dadimaa. He didn’t rape me. She told Dadimaa everything and blushed hard while confessing what had happened the same day. Well, she didn’t tell it all but enough for Dadimaa to get an idea. While reiterating Geet felt amazed and embarrassed by her bravado. Had she really done that? Asked him to- she blushed more. It couldn’t be overlooked that he didn’t deny. He did actually but couldn’t resist.
 
It was tough, really tough to take that step, to seduce him when she was breaking inside but if she hadn’t, she would have lost him. He would have pushed her so far that the distance couldn’t be covered no matter how far she travelled. However, he hadn’t finished. She didn’t have much knowledge in the area but after the waves of sheer ecstasy had subsided and he had pulled out leaving her empty, it felt incomplete. She concluded that he didn’t get what she did. She had panicked that perhaps something was wrong with her; he had been into it as much as her. He had wanted her, it was in his dark eyes; his firm hold, in his impatient shoves. But fear had no place in that moment, rising above it; her pure aim was to stop him. So she had taken that last chance breaking her vow of silence from that fateful night in hotel room. And after spilling her heart out to him first time through her mouth, she had thought herself successful but was wrong.
 
Hum apke lie bahut khush hai beta. Dadimaa hugged Geet and even with tears in eyes she had a naughty smile on her face. Geet wished she could reflect that smile.
 
Maan chale gaye Dadimaa, mujhe kuch bataya bhi nai.
 
Dadimaa wiped Geet’s tears. Yeh sab unke lie samjhna mushkil hoga Geet. Aap jaanti hai Maan kaise hai unhe sochne ke akelepan ki zaroorat hoti hai. There is no need for you to stress. No matter where he went, he would come back to you.
 
Geet had needed this assurance. She was so scared. Dadimaa’s words gave her some patience, a virtue she was falling short of.
 
But now as she looked at the watch sitting on his bed, her last shreds of hope were tearing apart. It was already nearly ten. How much alone time did a person needed to think? She had tried his phone but it was there only lying uselessly on the nightstand.
 
The door swung open and he walked in. With him her breath came back. Without giving a thought she stood up and marched to him. Her hands pushed at his chest, she had applied all her force but he merely moved a bit. Kaha the aap? Do you have any idea how worried I was? Mujhe laga… mujhe laga aap mujhe chode ke chale gaye.
 
She surprised him, not with her anger but with her speaking. He would have to get used to the sweet sound of it. Aap smile kyu kar rahe hai?She asked miserably wiping some stray tears. Maan didn’t realize he was doing that. He was just too happy to see her. For the first time in his life he felt such intense happiness. For the first time he could admit to himself that she was his. HIS. That made his throat clench and heart squeeze with happiness. He pulled her into his arms, rocking her against him, soothing her back with the flat of his palms and himself with her feel. This touch was free of guilt, shame, lies. This touch was just him and he felt like he was feeling her for the first time.
 
His body and hands were cold, Geet thought. Where was he exactly, wandering outside?
 
I love your voice.
 
The familiar timbre of his low, deep voice calmed her brushing away the anger. She buried her face into his chest. For now, but once I’ll start blabbering all nonsense you would have to think over.
 
He smiled into her hairs, and then spoke with his grip tightening around her. No, I have lost too much of you to ever think over. I love every bit of you. I had just needed time to think. My intensions weren’t to worry you. I just couldn’t believe that we are going to be… together. It still felt surreal, like a dream. Why would she accept him, why would she be happy with him? But if she was giving him a chance after knowing everything, he wouldn’t disappoint her. Are you sure that you want to be with me? Because this is your last chance, once you say yes now, I will never let you go.
  
You still need a yes? Maan, I love you and I am going to repeat it till the end of our lives so that you know that you are the only one I want to be with. She had cupped his face and there was this little smile playing on her lips like she was talking to a kid which was pretty absurd considering how her eyes were staring at him, beckoning him to her. Her big chocolaty orbs were shinning mesmerizingly as she searched his. So you are not going to ask me to leave?
 
I’d never wanted to ask you to leave. Damn, I could lock you in a room so you would never go but I knew it was for the best. Although now, after knowing everything, you are going to stay. Do you think I am a fool to tell you differently? Probably I am, but not that big. I am going to be a good man, a good husband and take care of you. I’ll protect you and you give every happiness. He kissed away the wetness on her lashes and she felt more than heard his promise. It was decided that she liked this Maan, who was released of guilt and not afraid to be close to her. And, right now, who was hesitantly and maybe unconsciously dipping his head.
 
He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her.
 
She flushed, sensations filling her, his warmth, his weight everything coming back and how she longed to feel it again, this time not by persuasion but his own free will. She blushed a little more before rising on her toes and offering him her lips. His mouth softly found hers pulling her lower lip inside and sucking at it. His body shook as he sighed then pulled back-not enough to free her of his hold-speaking huskily. We should go slow.
 
We have been going slow since two years. If you… if you want to complete what was left undone then-
 
Then? And exactly what was left undone? He asked feigning innocence. He knew all right what she was talking about but it was worth seeing her going all red trying to explain. He wondered whether she physically desired him as much as he desired her. This was new to both of them. They had been living together for long ignoring the demands of their bodies and it was hard, very hard, at least for him. Geet was a beautiful work of god, ample in every manner and right now looking at her he didn’t know how he had controlled for that long. The flood gates although were prayed open this morning n it was another story now. Like a saint he could tell he could give her time n all but in truth he ached to make love to her, in a way that would make her shudder every time she thought of him.
 
You… She started meekly not meeting his eyes.
 
I?
 
You- She caught him smirking. You are teasing me? Aap kitne bure ho.
 
He captured her pouty lips in a searing kiss simultaneously guiding her towards the bed. Pulling apart he removed the snug lock of her hands from around his neck and started to shed his clothes. As his shirt came undone Geet blushed, blushed and blushed but still stole glances.
 
She gulped as his pants went down. Aap… kya rahe hai? Her fear was amusing considering how she was jumping his bones the same day. I know you have always admired me, am just making myself available for your eyes. Her eyes widened more. When did I admire you? She said even as her gaze got glued to his sexy toned torso and her very prominent scratch marks there. His boxers followed path of his pants and heat rose under her skin. She wanted to hide her eyes just so he wouldn’t figure out how shameless she was but she couldn’t. He was a sight she wanted to keep on staring. With that body he could be a skillfully sculpted status of a roman warrior.
 
You always get that look in your eyes whenever I am shirtless having no clue what it does to me.
 
She shook her head and cast her eyes down. It was a bad-bad idea she realized upon encountering his maleness there. She hung her head even lower and stared at the floor instead, breathing unevenly. He tilted her head up.
 
Your turn?
 
Her eyes snapped to his. Meri bhi turn hai?
 
I want to see you like I had in the bathroom that first morning in KM. It had always been a forbidden, secret wish of his.
 
So this was a trap. She remembered that day. It was start of their married life and she had for the first time found him that close. She was naked and for a tad bit scared but he had made her feel things beyond comprehension. It was weird yet at the same time exhilarating. She had worn that skimpy nightdress for god’s sake and he had already been inside her. She could do this if that’s what he wanted. She started with the pajamas pushing them down with shaking hands. Maan watched her with set eyes and just couldn’t forgo the emotion of utter admiration for his lovely wife. This shy girl had seduced him just because she loved him; he was dumb to confuse her love for infatuation. She removed the top of her nightdress and then her bra parted from her skin. His breath lurched and he could feel himself solidifying just with the view. Did I ever say you are beautiful?
 
She wriggled her hands nervously, he rarely complimented her. Yes, but you never looked into my eyes while doing so.
 
That’s because I was afraid you would read more than what I was ready to confide. He walked ahead taking her face in his hands, her breasts coming in light contact with his chest. I was afraid you would know how much I craved you and your body. Am not fearful now to tell you that you are the most beautiful creation of god I have ever laid eyes upon. 

She bit her lip and before any more words could pass between them Maan had her body gathered flush against his. His lips roamed over her neck, kissing every inch of her silken skin. She moaned grabbing his hairs. Giggling as he pulled her with him on the bed and tickled her stomach. He sighed loving the sound of her laughter and then covered her mouth with his. He went from slow to intense, going down to her breasts and plunging one finger inside her preparing her for the bigger intrusion. She clasped her thighs around his hand while he worked his lips, teeth and tongue over her nipples.
 
She was amazing beneath him, soft and smooth, fitting immaculately against his frame. The member down his body was getting too eager. He grabbed her hands pinning them beside her head over the pillow and positioning himself over her in a manner that made her gasp. He wanted to tease her wetter but that would only prove tormenting for him. With eyes full of love, she stared up at him breathing hard while he entered her. Her grunts and moans fueled his passion and he started to roll his bottom after giving her sometime to accommodate. He loved how she met him thrust by thrust; understanding his pace and he understood her too. He knew when she wanted more and when she wanted to go slow as a spasm shook her.
 
There were no words needed. He had waited for so long, it almost seemed like an eternity, and gosh, she was so tight and wet encompassing him like a glove, it felt like several fists dipped in honey were squeezing around his cock. He was about to come… so fast. Somehow holding himself back until she reached her peak he continued to shove, kissing her mouth, rubbing his hard chest against her plump mounts, he pulled her over to the edge. She wandered with him like a leaf ready to fall at the call of autumn. And as they came together, stars started to twinkle inside his head. It was like a hit of drug that took them over, their bodies shaking, going through highs, lows and then coming down into a relief that brought them closer like never before. To share something so intimate with the person you loved was a precious gift of nature.
 
So, this was how peace felt… and liberation. He realized taking a long drag of air into his chest and pulling her over him. His caged, battered soul was finally freed by an angel. Feeling treasured, she kissed the base of his neck and chest. This was Maan unleashed she thought with an inward giggle. He was so passionate. She kissed his shoulder thanking him in her own way, after all who knew the silent language of gestures better than her. Don’t do that. I don’t want to tire you more for the night. He said with a lopsided smile turning his head. I am not tired. She spoke as if he had insulted her; her lashes were heavy that in itself was an indication contradicting her words. Of course, my love, but you see I have good plans for you tomorrow and the day after that and- I hope you get the idea. So it’s better if you slept now and not provoke me, or you are going to be very-very sour tomorrow. He kissed the tip of her nose.
 
I’ll sleep only if you promised that you won’t be gone once I open my eyes.
 
No I will stay just here where you want me, always close to you.
 


 
 
 
6 months later.
 
Sun rises were no more the same. The coming day wasn't something that he dreaded anymore, the biting loneliness was gone having no part in his life. Now he looked up to every approaching second with hope n excitement.

Maan closed his eyes feeling the warmth of fresh sun rays sweeping inside him as the sun pulled up from the horizon. Spreading his arms he welcomed the warm touch of its rays, although, he didn't owe the light in his life to it. No, that credit went to a certain woman, who ordinary by all means, was spectacular, more than the sun. Sun, with all its pump and show, couldn't have blown life into a dead man like him, something which she accomplished without any colossal efforts.

As though their thoughts were entwined he felt her petite little frame guild from beneath his arms n then molding against him. She placed two sweet pecks at the base of his neck making him smile. It was her unique way of telling good morning. It was both wonderful and amazing how she still-even after getting her voice-used actions to convey her heart. Maan naturally wrapped his arms around her. Watching his lips quirk into a mischievous grin with eyes closed, Geet found her heart skipping a beat with an unmistakable jerk. Don’t know how but he always managed to make her feel shaky just by a glance. Why are you up so early? Didn't I do a good job on getting you tired? She asked grinning, moving her hands along his sides seductively.

Umm... You did your job very commendably Mrs. Khurana so much so that now as you move your hand so deliciously on me I am getting impossibly hard by the second.

Geet blushed even as her jaw dropped open. After a week of business outside Delhi Maan had returned last night. Just a week but they had reunited like been kept apart for ages, it had resulted in crazy sex for most part of the night and him waking her up twice.

You are insatiable. She said with a pout when her pulse quickened n body prepared itself for him. A tingly rush went through her as she thought what all they had explored in the bedroom-bathroom-kitchen-study…ahem, garden-just once and it was night. Hopefully nobody had seen them.
It was all Maan’s fault. She concluded. But she had to admit she was just as insatiable as him and she had initiated sex more times than him. It was just so easy to distract him and she loved when he loved her. He was her hubby after all. He must have read her thoughts because his tongue darted out to moisten one dried lip, her eyes traced the action. Maan realized smugly that she was getting turned on. The effect wasn’t one way; a part of his anatomy was also getting turned on. Happened, when your beautiful wife clad in just your shirt with just two buttons closed stood in your arms.

Geet. He said huskily kissing her cheek and the corner of her mouth. Gut fluttering and heart slamming she felt his hands making their way inside her shirt weighing her globes in two big palms and pinching her nipples into pebbled peaks. The cold morning wind didn’t make her shudder, he did.

Two hours later, she woke up again with a huge smile on face n her naked back pressed into him. Hayee, she loved her life. It was complete, full of her Maan n his limitless love. She wouldn’t have believed that she would get all of this if it hadn’t happened for real. She pulled out of the tangles of his limbs, making him groan. With a giggle she pushed a pillow against him. In sleep thinking the pillow to be her he hugged it to himself burying his face into it cutely. Lucky pillow!! She thought with a dreamy sigh almost going back to him but she had college and an important assignment to submit. With a complaining face directed towards babaji she proceeded to get ready. When she came out of the bathroom, Maan woke up from the noise. Wiggling his heavily muscled body he smiled and kissed the pillow.

Good morning jaan. Only it wasn’t his jaan and his mouth encountered the cloth. With a muddled start, he opened his eyes and unable to stop, Geet erupted in laughter.

Instead of anger he just smiled, drooling at her lovely laugh. She was so beautiful. Tricking me! You should be punished. She made tsk sound with her mouth and giggling walked to the closet to take out her scarf. He got up and trailed behind her like a lamb as she went to the dressing table. Smiling at his reflection in the mirror and she brushed her hair. You are going?

Haan, mujhe assignment dena hai. Aapko office nai jana?
He made a face and shrugged. I could have stayed. At his hurt expression, her heart tightened. Maan, bahut zaroori assignment hai warna mai na jati. Hmm… He gave a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was very supportive. Due her college she remained held up, sometimes waking up till late nights to complete her work but he never complained. He was busy too but somehow found time and adjusted to her schedules. It was a matter of two more years and then all her time would be his. She told herself. Maan, aap ready hoiye, I’ll bring your coffee. She started to go.

Geet… He forwarded his hand but from mid air pulled it back hesitantly. She caught it from the corner of her eyes in the mirror. To say they were completely past their demons would be an overstatement. Many a times he faltered, hesitating. It wasn’t exactly deliberate yet there, looming. It produced an ache inside her to see him being wary, like he was afraid of doing something she might not approve or like or find disturbing. Turning around, she spoke. What? Trying to be nonchalant and thinking that she hadn’t caught his action, he shook his head. No nothing. Taking his face in her hands, she stared into his eyes for he could read her silence. He sighed. I… am sorry. I just wanted to say I’ll miss you and perhaps in compensation would get a kiss.

No, you won’t get one. She said then grinned. You will get two. He took up the good offer handy. Geet was ready to wait a lifetime for him to forget everything, to move on completely and if this was how he was going to be forever she would wait forever, it wasn’t that long a time when he was there with her.

At the breakfast table in KM, Dadimaa was waiting for them. Geet and Maan still hadn’t moved back to main mansion but things were far better. Divya had accepted Geet 6 months ago when at her relatives’ arrival she had come to know how Maan was connected to Geet. In their own dismal, both Geet and Maan had forgotten all about Divya. Only when Divya had came asking for forgiveness for all she had done to degrade Geet without knowing how her son had wronged her did Geet realize that Divya was there too while her relatives had shown their ugly face. As Divya thanked her thoroughly for forgiving Maan and being with him, Geet had forgotten everything. All she had needed was acceptance and to get it from her mother in law was something she had never even dreamed of. With Divya, Annie came along. Geet weren’t exactly friends with her but Annie wasn’t that spiteful anymore which was good considering how in college everyone knew Geet was related to her, being her brother’s wife.

So how was your night? Dadimaa asked naughtily from across the table, signing with her hands. Food stuck in throat, Geet looked at Divya who was eating just beside her. Geet made a face. Kya? Hum toh bas puch rahe the aap theek se soi ke nai? That made her blush. 

Remembering the night, she sighed cautiously. *Nai Dadimaa, mai theek se nai soi.* They both giggled softly.

There was great improvement in Dadimaa’s health. With her and Maan’s relations finding the right path she was merrier and that showed physically. Geet n Maan both took care of Dadimaa, spending time with her, taking her out for walks and to meet friends. Although, she hadn’t started to walk, she was better than before in many ways.

Toh aap humme humare pota-poti ki shakal kab dikha rai hai?
Redness tinted her cheeks. She so much wanted to mother Maan’s babies but didn’t think he was ready just yet. Their relation as husband-wife in true sense had started only few months back. It would be too soon for a baby to appear no matter how much she wanted it. Before she could answer Dadimaa’s query. Maan cleared his throat, catching everyone’s attention. If you guys are forgetting I can very well read signs. He looked pointedly at Geet and Dadimaa. While Geet ducked her head mortified that he had noticed their small talk, Dadimaa gave another giggle.

College was good, only bitter thing was Armaan’s aloofness from her. She understood that and regretted not telling him beforehand about her married status. Yes she had no other choice but no one deserved to get their heart broken. Kushika was there to hold him through this phase. Armaan might think otherwise but Geet knew that Kushika was the right partner for him and not because she knew him inside out and loved him but because he needed her like one needed air. He would realize that soon.

Yes, come in. The Principal said as Geet knocked on his door. I have decided that you are going to be the leader of the team that’s going to represent our college at the NASA event this year.

Her face beamed, Maan was going to be so proud of her was her first thought. She thanked the principal while he explained her what all she had to do. The 3-day event is going to be held in Mumbai and you have around a week to do the preparations.

3-day event? Mumbai? But Maan had come only yesterday. He wasn’t going to be very proud now. And, she had accepted so enthusiastically she couldn’t deny principal sir too. She couldn’t have denied anyway. He was always too nice to her, had trusted her with great responsibility and she owed him too. He had provided her with one very important information which she wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

Now I know why Mr. Khurana had requested for your admission test. He had said with a laugh. Not that I complain, we are lucky to have such a talented student in our college. She and Maan had gone to him to change her surname in college records and he-much to Maan’s dislike-had unintentionally revealed something that Maan didn’t wanted disclosed.

Geet had been shocked. Outwardly, he had shown little interest in her admissions when from inside he had been the reason for it. How could she not have guessed? Those mark sheets and certificates weren’t only for their marriage registration, they were more for her admission. Even now when she thought of it-of him-warmth spread through her entire being.
 



In the evening when she stepped out of the college gates and was saying goodbye to her friends, Maan was there, waiting for her.

*Aap yaha kya kar rahe hai?* She asked from afar and he effortlessly read her lips and hands, signing back. Came to pick my girl.

She couldn’t stop grinning as she turned back to her sighing friends.Gosh, you’re so lucky. Just look at him, handsome and so caring. Geet nodded sincerely. For long she had kept the secret of her marriage but once their relation attained its true meaning, Maan wanted to tell everyone about them. There was no reason to lie anymore. After telling Maan that she could speak she still hadn’t used her voice in college. She felt hell fearful and awkward. Everyone was used to her silence, she didn’t know-want to know-how would they react to her speaking all of a sudden. She didn’t want to face questions and stares. It had been hard to blend in with everyone at the start of college. Not again she wanted to face the same. After years, to be able to speak again was quite unsettling for her own self then talking to others felt so much scarier.

Maan didn’t take long to know that. One day when she was in bathroom after coming back from college, a friend had texted her. Without asking Maan had called back. She had heard the conversation halfway inside the room, stilled at spot. 

You sound worried.

Yeah, jus wanna know if Geet has my history book, if she hasn’t god forbid I would have to search for it. We were sharing it during the class. By the way, may I know who you are?

Maan Singh Khurana, Geet’s husband. He had told with a pompous air and looked at Geet with his unfaltering gaze. You should ask her. Geet, your friend wants to know if you have her history book. Tell her. He forwarded the phone and she took it in her shaking hands, speaking in a flat voice and measured words. I don..t have it. There was pin drop silence on the other side and Geet wondered if her friend had passed out from shock. Without waiting to confirm her concerns she had hung up and launched into Maan’s arms. Don’t know why she cried maybe because she could. The noise filled the room as she wetted his shirt with her tears.

Next day, he had walked beside her into the college first going to the Principal’s office for the name change thingy and then to her friends, where he very proudly n simply announced himself as her husband. It was all Geet could do to not let the tears drop again. Jo apnapan usne mehsoos kia wo anmol tha. After the initial explaining her friend took the news better than she had expected and congratulated her. She deserved to be congratulated; after all she had Maan in her life.


Her thoughts broke as the car halted in KM. Maan swept her into his arms going inside. Geet giggled looping arms around his neck and staring at his handsome face. It was good they lived in outhouse because Maan was prone to not caring where they were or what time it was. He deposited her on the couch and removed his tie and coat, coming over her. May I? His hoarse voice asked while his eyes stayed glued to her lips. When she nodded he kissed her hard and good. Within seconds clothes were flying everywhere.

Maan mujhe aapko kuch batana hai. She said half naked. Umm.Maan was busy nibbling her earlobe hardly listening, his hand going inside her panties. I have been selected for the National Association for Students of Architecture as team leader and have to go to Mumbai for 3 days. He pulled his hand out and she nearly grabbed it back. A totally different look took over his face. With eyes gleaming, he clasped her hand in his. That’s amazing Geet. I am so proud of you.

You aren’t mad? I am going for 3 days n before that I’ll be busy in preps.

His lips twitched into a tender smile. No, jaan, am not mad. Why would I be? This is a big thing n makes me happy. You have gifted me a life full of my Geet, I can surely manage for a few a days without you.

She didn’t know what to say. Her throat felt choked. To even think that he would be mad just because she was leaving for few days was madness on her part. He was ready to let her go forever for her happiness and live a life of regret and desolation. His love was selfless and unconditional; it made her forget all about the bad times and if anything strengthened her belief in god who made everything alright in the end as she had always believed.

Geet.

Haan Maan.

I also have to tell you something. About what Dadimaa was telling in morning? I want a baby… with you. A little Geet. I know am just learning to take care of you and be a good husband but once you are through college, we can think about it. Unknowingly he was blushing. I know you want kids.

Coming over to sit on his lap she kissed his cheek super happy. Haan, Maan. I want two kids, a girl and a boy. Boy ka naam aap decide karna, our baby girl will be named Maanvi. Resting his forehead against hers, he sighed, loving her all the more with each passing second.
How do you know that I want kids? Geet asked amazed, now another kind of happiness bubbling inside her.

Dadimaa told me.

That’s not fair; she gives away my secrets to you. She pouted.

Only when she wants something for you.

Geet grinned and stuck her tongue out. She loves me more than you.

I agree. You, Mrs. Khurana, are very lovable. But always remember it’s me who loves you the most.


 
 

THE END









This marks the end of Bezuba. I know many of you don’t want it to end just yet. But it was always meant to be a SS and I had planned it till this far only. I could have added tracks but it would ruin the real plot of the story. The story had just one track without any side tracks added and that was it’s real favor. I have two more stories going on, if you guys want you can catch up with them.

I had fun time writing Bezuba and your amazing response filled me with zeal. My pms are always late and since last 4-5 parts I have not sent any pms altogether. My updates are late too. Still you guys read and comment and m really thankful to all- regular readers, likers n commenters, one time commenters and also silent readers. Muaah.




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Thursday 4 September 2014

BEZUBA, PART 35

~BEZUBA~




This part's for sweetu (Aishwarya)
Happy birthday babes... keep smilingHug




~PART 35~









(Pic posted by trishtej)



 



She went to his room but he wasn’t there. A million things ran through her mind creating a whirlpool of blankness. She didn’t know if she should cry or laugh, probably she was doing both, probably she was doing nothing. Almost out of the room she turned back and checked the bathroom door to find it locked. He was inside. She placed her palm on the lifeless wood, tears pouring out of her eyes.

Maan… she called but the door remained shut, maybe he didn’t hear her. She spoke his name louder and the result was the same. Silence. So she kept repeating it until he gave up and answered.

Just leave. His voice was drained, pleading. We’ll… do this later.

Later? Do this later? How dare he say that? She started to bang her hands on the door. Only she had the right to be angry, to feel pain, to seek answers… he didn’t have a say.

Pressing both hands on ears, he willed her to leave. He couldn’t do it now. He never wanted this to come out still it was there, out in open… lying naked staring at him like a dead corpse. Leave. He shouted. Please. Only a little time he needed, to put himself together, to again gather the broken pieces n arrange them into something presentable before he faced her. God, wasn’t it enough that she knew he had destroyed her as well as her life? The banging didn’t stop n even in this fucked up situation he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about her soft, little hands that weren’t made to get hurt… and how he had hurt her soul.

Finally, he opened the door and the fists that were beating at wood now thrashed against his chest. Her cries pinched him n he could do nothing to stop them. He was so pathetic, a black mark in the name of human being. He didn’t deserve to live. For heaven’s sake, he loved this girl and what all he gave her were tears and suffering. He noticed how small she was, how young and in this little lifetime of hers she had already seen so much. The dirty face of people who were supposed to be her family, greed, betrayal, humiliation, adherence and worst of all, she had seen him.  

She stilled all of a sudden and took a step back glancing up at him with eyes that he couldn’t look into. She let out a long angry breath and Maan waited for how she will question him.

*So you didn’t do it?* Her hazels questioned him more than her hands.

He stared the wall behind her and shook his head. No, I did it.

*Phir aapne kyu kaha waha ke aapne nahi kia, ke mai utni hi saaf hu jitna mujhe hona chahiye? Boliye?* He didn’t have an answer and it seemed she was talking to a ghost. A shadow she could see but couldn’t reach out to.*Bataiye!!*

It doesn’t matter.

*It matters to me. Mujhe sach jaanne ka haq, jab uss din aapne mujhe sab bataya toh mujhse yeh baat kyu chupayi? Ussi din kyu nai keh dia?*

He clenched his fists tighter, nails digging into skin painfully. Because it doesn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring back your voice or the love of your family, the respect that you deserved. Would it bring back those four years that you suffered in that hell? Would it change anything that I made it seem like you were raped and didn’t do that final act? No, it would just show you my fucked up mentality. I am ready to take all the blame for what I had done and what I almost did. I impaired you for life and I… I didn’t want you to know that it was because of nothing. You lost everything and lived like that for four years and it was because of what I made it seem. It makes me feel all the more nasty that you had to go through all that when I hadn’t- I could have- I shouldn’t have done that to you to start with.

And would you believe me if I had said that yes I was that bastard that night but no I didn’t rape you, I just made it look like a rape?

*You could always prove it to me.* She said flatly and he didn’t understand what she meant. *Why do you always assume everything about me? Why is it always your guilt, your crime, your punishment? Is it fair to commit a crime and decide a punishment for yourself? When you told me it was you, you should have told me this too and let me make you suffer. Yeh meri zindagi hai aap mere lie faisale lena band kariye. And if you thought that I wouldn’t believe you then you should have proved me. I want you to prove me.*

She walked to him n smacked her lips against his, his whole body jerked with consciousness but the next moment he pushed her away, repulsed by the knowledge of what she was doing.

She wasn’t swayed by his rejection, he couldn’t say no to her today. *Aaj aap mujhe mana nai kar sakte.*

You are not in your senses Geet. I am not going to trash that one little act of sanity from that night, and am surely not going to damage more of you.

*Like you said, it doesn’t matter. Am I not already raped? How does this make a difference to you or others? At least I would know that not everything I had lost that night.*

You are talking like crazy. I… can’t do this. He tried to sound angry but his eyes were fearful. How she could make him so weak. She didn’t know if she loved this power over him or hated it.

Knocking away the tears, she said. *Agar aap nai karenge toh… thik hai. I will go out and-* His head jerked up and eyes blazed with absolute fury as if challenging her to speak further much less try out her warning. Her face was mocking. *Mai kisi aur ke sath hu sun bhi nai sakte aap.*

This time when she walked to him, he took a step back but could do nothing more as her lips claimed his. She kissed him as if she was searching for something and it was hard to not get lost. He still tried, tried to resist the biggest temptation of his life but she surrounded his mind in impossible ways. Her lips were soft n so was her entire body as she pushed him back on the bed. He had no idea that she could do this if she wanted to. She wasn’t unsure of herself like last time, there was this resolve sweeping out of her and it was turning him frail, yielding. His body absorbed her in despite his protests. They were so feeble anyway that the girl over him could laugh at this attempts. He had no escape and bad part was he didn’t want to escape. He tried to remind himself of the rationality, of what was happening and what her motives were. However everything slowly flowed out of his mind as her mouth continuously probed his and he found himself responding, her hands were under his shirt, small nails raking his skin and once in a while her thighs rubbed against manhood, waking up the monster.

She pulled back and he groaned more in relief than complaint that perhaps she had changed her mind but she was just removing her top followed by her bra. Then he saw nothing but her beautiful torso, he remembered the brief taste and she was even more beautiful now somehow, those full mounts, topped by the best shade of pink nipples. His mouth went dry as she again laid over him and her breasts pushed up against his bare chest, he didn’t even realize when she had opened his shirt buttons. She kissed his neck n collarbone and the slurping sound was making him mad. One of her hands slipped down to his jeans cupping his shaft. The hit he felt brought him back to reality and he sat up almost hitting her head with his.

Hell, she was angry, confused and naive… he wasn’t. Get off me; you are going to regret this later. He growled angrily trying to push her back but she was adamant. She took him off guard with eyes that spoke of emotions he couldn’t comprehend and they were glossy, not at all in accord with her actions. He softened feeling horrible for being harsh and yet he didn’t know what else to do. Taking advantage of his daze she took him down again. Certainly, he was more powerful and had her pinned beneath him in an instant.

Like this he had better access of her body and he could do anything, cup her mounts and suck them- He took his eyes away from her chest and jerked her back when she tried to kiss his mouth. She raised her pelvis and rubbed it against his hips. Maan groaned practicing great control by staying still and not thrusting insanely. This was madness. Why was she so desperate? This wasn’t to make sure that she was virgin. This had to be something else.

Maan… her voice called to him and she was able to free her one hand, it went to the back of his head pulling it down. He succumbed when she kissed him, he couldn’t fight. Every fiber of his being was on fire, burning and craving her. He had waited for this for so long that giving in was rather easy but how could he do this to her? Her hands scraped his back in the journey down to his hips and then to the front of his pants. She flipped the button open and then the zipper went down. Her hands cupped his front and Maan had always known she would be bold in bed, he knew how curious and naughty she was. It was forbidden for him to dream but he had lots of time thought about making love to her, passionately and insanely. And here she was-here he was, but they weren’t making love. She was seeking something he had no idea of while he was drowned in sins, n still it felt so right, why?

He didn’t realize but he was gently humping in her soft hand that now encircled his bare cock very tenderly. A tear must have slid down his cheek because she kissed it away. The act bowled him over n he was ashamed with the knowledge that he wanted it, with the knowledge that he wasn’t fighting that hard. He needed this to go on n she was asking for it. This time he wasn’t forcing her, she wanted it. He wasn’t committing a crime. He started to kiss her neck and she moaned, the sound was beautiful and his brain saved it in a corner forever. She didn’t give him much time to cherish her and savor every moment, giving her jeans the same treatment as his pants. Her legs wrapped around his hips pulling him down and he felt her wetness with his hard member. This was it. He didn’t want it to happen like this but this was the best he would get, he wasn’t really in a position to bargain. The tip of his cock was poking at her entrance while he held his breath. He gritted his teeth, all his muscles straining and raised his head. She was looking so beautiful, with little fear, little wonderment, and tons of impatience on her face. Are you sure about this? He asked and she just dug her heels into his hips. He thrust in, breaking her and she cried out his name.

He pumped inside her oh-so-carefully but abiding to increase the pace when he knew she had adjusted, her cunt was tight and wet, pure heaven. When he knew she wanted more he thrust harder and faster, driving to the deepest and pulling nearly out. It was all hazy for her but he captured each expression, each hitch of her breath on his mind’s screen. Her climax was near n it approached too soon, she flooded around him, her flushed face the best thing he had ever seen. He pulled out slowly while she caught her wayward breath. Gosh! She was amazing, gorgeous, a bloody perfect work of god, he thought smoothening her dark hairs back that had stuck to her forehead due to sweat.

He sat back and started to button his shirt up. The sheets shuffled behind him and he felt her warm hand on his shoulder. Her whole face and neck were red. *You didn’t finish.* She signed looking down, all her bravery gone in air.

You got your proof.

*But what about you? Don’t you want me? Were you again lying that night when you said you have always wanted me?*

Maan smiled wryly. Believe me I got everything that I needed.

Yes… Her broken voice had his hands freezing on his shirt button. You asked if I would have believed had you told me that you didn’t rape me. My answer is yes. Mujhe sabut ki zaroorat nai.

He turned back staring at her as if he had seen a ghost. How do- how-

Do you know when I lost my voice? It wasn’t during your faked rape really because after waking up I had cried and somehow came out of that barn but my legs didn’t take me far and I blacked out. When I woke up once again, everything had changed. Everyone was blaming me as if I had done a crime. I didn’t even know what was happening initially because I was numb although slowly got an idea. There were things that I wanted to say, wanted to tell and ask but nobody would hear me out. I was scared and through the talks and my condition I knew I was raped. Nobody called a doctor or police and they gave me strict warning to not step out of the house or even my room. I didn’t really have anyone to talk to or discuss my fears, before it was my papaji with whom I used to share things but after his death I was living with Taaya ji. The nights gave me creeps, I had horrible dreams and I would wake up screaming your name.

They called a guy to see me and he was a middle aged man when I was not even of legal age to get married. It was then I was all dressed up and taken out. He belonged to another village. I came out getting to know that my marriage was being fixed, I was happy in a way that this might wash out my filthiness and there will be some people who would accept me. That didn’t happen. He rejected me n not because I was dirty, he didn’t know that. He rejected me because when his mother asked me some stupid question I opened my mouth and no words came out. I tried to speak but- it was useless. I couldn’t, irrespective of how I tried. First I was angry at myself and everyone else but then I realized god took my voice because there was hardly anyone to hear. I didn’t need it and I never made any complaints for making me dumb.

Until that night in hotel, you were so tender and you didn’t loathe me. As your hands roamed over my body, each kiss was a blessing, emotions swamped me… and my heart was beating fast. The night before, when you had woken up after the bad dream, you had let me take care of you. You slept in my arms and I realized I wanted to be that person whom you always sought out in distress, in gloom and in pain. I wanted to take it all away and promised myself that I will never let you sleep alone. I was overcome with the need to comfort you. In the entire world you were the only one who wanted me, needed me. You were a treasure I could never let go. And, when you were loving me; I wanted to scream and shout, tell you how much you meant to me, that I was in love with you. There was no definite moment when it happened. It was a slow conspiracy acted out by your actions, your words, your eyes and every single thing that you wouldn’t let me see.

I don’t know how- but I it came out, the three words, so clear, without any effort. But they had you stopping. Mai bezuba hi thik thi. Pehle sab thik tha, mai jhut ki duniya me thi lekin wo duniya iss duniya se bahut behtar thi. Meri awaaz ne sab khatam kar dia. The way you pushed me away. That moment only I decided that I don’t want to speak. I was better a mute. And then you told me everything and again I was alone. Again there was no one left to hear me so what would I do with my voice anyway.

She clutched the sheets with the meaningless proof of her virginity close to herself and shifted closer to him. Mai aapse bahut pyaar karti hu Maan. Mujhe koi farq nai padta jo hua tha usse, mai nai jaanti yeh sahi hai ya galat. Mai swarthi hu aur bas itna jaanti hu ke aapke bina mai reh nai sakti. Maan mai aapse alag nai ho sakti.

Her hand cupped his cheek unleashing a flood of tears from his eyes. Hum saath nai reh sakte. Mujhe pata nai tum mujhe kaise maaf kar sakti ho kyuki mai khudko maaf nai kar sakta. I had all intensions of raping you but fell weak in that final moment. That doesn’t mean I am any better. I knew how the mentality of village people works and how unaware they were. I knew they would never take you for a checkup. And if you figured out and said you weren’t raped, nobody would believe you. I did it all intentionally. It’s all my fault-

But it’s over. Only I can decide what punishment to give you and I think you have had enough. I don’t want you to suffer more and I am not doing this just for you, I am doing this for myself too Maan. She rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Let go of past.

I cannot.

Yes, you can. If I can then you can as well. I love you Maan, for me you’ll have to let go. We’ll forget it like a bad dream.

He hugged her to himself not knowing whether he was doing right or just committing another sin. But she knew better than him and he loved her so much. Every suffering would be small in front of what he would feel if she left him. I love you and I will… I will never hurt you.

She couldn’t even look at him with so many tears in her eyes. I know.








This part gave me headache. I typed and removed, typed and removed and finally this came out. I have no idea how it is but m glad that m thru. Phew.

Apart from all that, m realllllly happy with the response on pervious part. Seriously wat was that?? 300 likes in 3 days without any pms. OMG!! And so many wonderful comment. I can’t tell you how I felt reading them, its like all hard work is nothing in front of what you guys give me. I wanted to reply to many comments but my lappy is hanging up on me and m exhausted after completing this part today only. So I will reply next time. Yes there will be a next time because I m not ending it here. I read all comment and realized that it is only fair to not say goodbye to maaneet just yet. See that’s why I ask say comments are important. So there will be another part or it cud be an epilogue. I am not sure yet, I will type and see how it goes.

Special thanks to silent readers. Your comments it gives me immense joy.






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