BEZUBA, PART 25

~BEZUBA~

~PART 25~

Simi- You know there is a seminar next week outside Delhi and dinner after that. If my Dad is right MSK is expected to be there. So I am going. All girls gasped and Geet wanted to strangle Simi. Who knows I might get lucky. She gave a suggestive wink and Geet’s mouth dropped down. She lost all control. Standing up, she snatched the magazine from Simi’s hand and tore the cover into many pieces, turned on her heels and ran from there.

Simi- What the hell?

 

Armaan- Shit, isse kya hua?

 

Everyone shrugged shocked by Geet’s unusual behavior.

 

Kushika- You stay, Ammy. I’ll go see what’s wrong.

 

 

 

 

Geet… Geet wiped her tears when she heard her name being called and the door to empty classroom being shut. Kiddo you are crying? What is wrong?

 

*I am sorry for what I did.* Geet said trying to hide her face in shame; she wished she could speak so there was no need of signing with hands.

 

Kushika understood Geet’s hand movements as few of Geet’s friends had learned the sign language. She came in front of Geet. Something is bothering you. Do you want to share? Is there something wrong at home?

 

Geet shook her head, looking up with teary eyes. Kushika sat down on the bench before Geet and held her hand. Geet you might not see but we notice. I mean at least I notice. How you never invite us to your house or how you always try to skip family talks. I understand that there must be really something big for you to do that and it must be hard to tell anyone, but believe me Geet keeping secrets is even harder. Maybe if you told me you would feel light and we can together shelter the secret.

 

Geet looked down. She so much wanted to tell Kushika everything but she couldn’t risk it. There was Maan and then Annie, in the same college. Over two years she had spoken lies after lies to not reveal anything that might have bad repercussions over her family.

 

Okay if I shared my secret with you then will you do the same? It should be a fair exchange, right? I’ll tell you mine and if you feel like-no obligation-you can tell me yours. Kushika steeled herself and took a long breath. I was abused as a child. Geet’s head snapped up. The strong-whom guys feared-Kushika was abused. It was by an uncle for quite a few years. I was small n by the time I got a little bigger I thought there was no way out. He used to threaten me n get what he wanted although I was never raped but… One day my father caught him and I was saved. He was sent to jail. Those years had had really bad effect on me. My confidence dropped down, grades were bad and other things like that. But I had my family with me and Armaan. He knows everything. They helped me get out of it although it still haunts me. I think I can never get out. I still can’t trust guys, I find them looking at me with the same intensions that’s why I scare them all off. I guess I am afraid that if I let anyone come close they would hurt me.

 

Kushika’s eyes had gotten blurry and Geet held her hand tightly in hers. She knew how difficult it was to actually voice out what had occurred. Geet and Kushika had always shared a connection and this was the reason. Geet could understand each word that Kushika said. Although, Kushika had people around to help, Geet had none. Instead of helping, her family muffled her voice. She went through everything by herself, got over it on her own, fought the demons and was no more scared of them. When you had nothing to help you stand, you either learned to do it on your own or accept failure allowing the fear to eternally conquer you.

 

A bit apprehensive, Geet told her story. Kushika had trusted Geet with hers and so she felt compelled to do so too. *I was out cold throughout the agony and I never saw his face. So I don’t remember much of it. I remember how scared I was before it happened. I thought a ghost had caught me.* Geet smiled humorlessly. *I guessed it would do bad things to me, never thought that it would be that bad. I didn’t know what had happened even when my eyes opened at my Taayaji’s place. They were all blaming me; no one offered help or took me to a doctor. I was so confused n tried to tell them my side of story but nobody let me. I was slapped and cursed. I started to believe it was my doing, or I was jinxed. When police came they asked if I was raped. I had to shake my head n not speak a word. I didn’t. I was numb, didn’t say a word for days n when I actually tried nothing came out. I had lost my voice which was no issue. Everyone wanted that. I know they were relieved. But as time passed, with it I realized many big and small things and I decided that only my voice was what I was going to lose. I won’t let that man win.*

 

I hate him. Kushika said gritting her teeth talking about her uncle but loathing directed towards Geet’s culprit too. I hate him so much that if he ever came in front of me I will kill him.

 

*I don’t. I don’t hate that man. I think he was poor, sick person who must be suffering every second of his life. God can never forgive such sinners. His own sins will make him regret his existence. He doesn’t deserve my hate. He doesn’t deserve a second of my life or a tear.*

 

Perhaps you are right. Kushika said deep in thought. Tell me how come you were able to get out of your village?

 

*A… man helped me. Its ironical, how one person can ruin you and other becomes the reason for whatever you have. I… I am married.*

 

Kushika gasped. Why you didn’t ever tell us?

 

*It’s not your usual marriage. We are just married for namesake. He had to marry me forcefully and because he wanted to get me out of that hell. He wasn’t ready for it. He cares for me but tries to stay away. I don’t really understand what he wants but I don’t want to trap him, you know. We didn’t want to make our marriage public.* Geet said ‘we’ because she didn’t want Kushika to see Maan in bad light. *He’ll come around and I am ready to wait. Tum gussa nai ho na?* Geet asked biting her lip.

 

I am not. I understand. But I guess… I guess you should tell Armaan about your marriage.

 

Geet was confused. *Why?*

 

I think he likes you.

 

Geet frantically shook her head. *No, that’s not true. He just flirts a bit, he flirts with everyone.*

 

Geet believe me. I know him since long, he feels strongly about you. Kushika said sadly.

 

*That’s not true. I love-* She flushed n her heart thudded. *I like my husband, very much. I cannot even think about anyone else other than him in that manner and I know you love Armaan-*

 

Love? I don’t love him. Kushika shouted back and Geet just stared at her with a whole-world-knows look. Kushika stole her gaze and hastily changed the subject. Did you ever see some psychiatrist?

 

*Yeah. Maa- my husband. He once brought some psychiatrist from Norway who was researching on selective mutism.* Geet recalled the two sessions. She had no idea that Maan would be bringing a psychiatrist when he had gone to Norway but it had resulted in nothing. The psychiatrist had talked to her, explained the medical condition that she was capable of speech but her mind failed to form words that she could utter. She had trouble processing sensory information. He had showed charts and briefed some cases. Long story short it had resulted in nothing. The end result was two lines ‘It can cure anytime or you might never be able to speak.’ Maan had been disappointed, far more than her. He didn’t say a word throughout the ride back home and then had locked himself in his study. *It had zero outcomes apart from telling me that he cares about me so much.*

 

Damn, you are a goner. Tu toh totally fida hai apne hubby pe.

 

Geet’s face lit up. This was her favorite topic. *Tumhe pata nai wo kitne acche hai… and he is so handsome, just like a Greek god. I can’t blink when he is before him. I feel like… I feel like I am in heaven.* She sighed dreamily.

 

Who is in heaven?

 

Armaan asked strolling inside then before waiting for an answer looked towards Geet. Tune mujhe ekdum dara dia? Kya ho gaya tha?

 

Kushika answered. She was just irritated because profs had given so much homework and then Simi’s blabbering. Tujhe toh pata hai what it could do to your brain.

 

Armaan nodded in sheer understanding. But tu toh aise bhag kar aai. Phew. Mujhe laga tujhe MSK par crush-wrush hai.

 

Believe me she has nothing to do with that MSK. Kushika said and Geet just smiled at the words.

 

 

 

 

 

That night was hell for Maan. He was staying at hotel only to satisfy his mind that he had attempted one last time. Tomorrow he would be with her. She would look at him with those chocolaty, searching eyes. He would hold her and feel her after ages. Imagining her body in his grip, Maan cursed. This distance had actually made things worse. It seemed the more he tried to run, the more she came close, pressed him. Everyday had felt like a century and many a times he just wished to leave everything and go back to her. Yet, he didn’t. He wasn’t allowed to. He had missed her, missed her so so much, that despite his promises to himself he had called when the situation became too much unbearable. Did she miss him? Was she angry? Had she… started to hate him?

 

He didn’t want her to hate him? But he had no other choice. He was such a helpless man. Against all odds and the rational thinking of his mind, his crazy heart wished she felt about him the way he felt about her, even just a tiny part of it would do. But that would be so unfair to her. She was naïve, innocent and he could give nothing to her except for betrayal and a life full of pain. How can he be that cruel to her? He just wanted to protect her.

 

But he wanted to be close to her too, for a little bit because soon she would walk out and soon he would be all alone. Maan closed his watery eyes and tried to sleep. He didn’t want her to leave. Maybe he was getting himself accustomed to the feel by staying away and simultaneously doing her favor. She didn’t need a monster walking around her.

 

Next day after a staff meeting, Maan had to meet a client at his home. KC had done work for him before a number of times and when he invited him at his house Maan couldn’t deny. They had lunch and after that went to the client’s study to discuss business. His client went out to talk on his cell while Maan read the file that had the particulars about the project. His ears registered faint sound of music. Standing up he walked to the window which looked down upon a huge swimming pool. Youngsters were having a pool party and Maan shook his head. What a waste of time. His eyes raked over the girls in swim suits and guys ogling at them. From the 3^rd floor it all looked so chaotic. His eyes zeroed upon a gal pulled on the platform in middle of the exotic pool through a narrow passage over water. The song playing was ‘Tumhi ho bandhu’ and the girl was dressed modestly in a top and shorts that reached till her knees. Yet she was alluring so much so that all male eyes were on her.

 

His insides flipped as it didn’t take him more than two heartbeats to figure out who the girl was. Geet did typical bhangra steps with a big smile on her face. Her glee was contagious as all her friend danced with her with similar expressions. Maan had never seen her like that. So free and dancing in joy. It was surreal watching her in that avatar, her dressing sense had also changed. Gosh she looked amazing. Maan’s thoughts broke when a guy dropped out of nowhere and started to dance with his Geet. He twirled her around and they both laughed as she twirled him in return.

 

That sight burned into his heart. Maan felt his whole body heating up. With that guy’s hands on her, the song in background blurred. Maan saw red as he gritted his teeth turning around to go down. His legs climbed down stairs taking two-three steps at a time. As he approached the pool he could imagine the guy screaming in pain as he beat the living hell out of him for touching his wife. How dare the bastard?

 

Stopping in his tracks, breathing harsh, Maan nearly stumbled. His wife? His Geet? Shit. He rubbed at the centre of his chest as if that would reduce the ache there. Geet felt something and she turned her head only to meet his eyes at a distance. When she started to day dream about him in public, she thought, and then realized he was real. Uski ankhon me shikwa tha aur dard, jo wo bilkul smajh nai payi. Pushing people out of her way she came out of the crowd to the place where he had been. But by then he had already left.

 

 

PRECAP- A long update but not much of maaneet, I just wanted to clear a few things in here. Next is going to be full of them. How do you think will Geet pacify him?

Just a comment to make me happy

Waiting eagerly