BEZUBA, PART 33

~BEZUBA~

~PART 33~

Maan was sitting in his study robotically doing his work. Suddenly, a sweet tinkle filtered through the silence. His head snapped and as eyes expectantly stared at the door, everything in him blared with hope. He waited. But there was no one. Again his mind was playing tricks, he thought dejectedly. Over the days, misery had engulfed him completely and he had started to see her everywhere. She would be there when his eyes were open or close n yet she wouldn’t be there at all.

He had decided to leave her the hell alone. He wouldn’t see her. He had distanced himself because he didn’t want to make it any more difficult for her. But it hurt. It hurt so very much. He had thought he was prepared. He wasn’t. And he didn’t want to work anymore. He had had enough. His drive was dead. KC had reached heights, Maanvi’s dream was fulfilled and the company could run without him anyway. He could handover his position to Dia and she would take care of it just as well as he did. Then he would go far off, to a place where his shadow couldn’t reach him-on the hills or past the seas-and dedicate himself to god or something.

But would he get peace there? Perhaps not. She would be there too. In person she would leave him, in mind she would be an ever present mirage. He stood up and his legs led him to a door that was never open for him. Last time he had confessed his sin there when the weight was too much for him to carry. Today, there was no weight yet he felt loaded-with a crushing ache it constricted every inch of him so brutally it was unbearable. Slowly, he pushed the door and walked into the dark room and sat on the floor, laying his head on the bed beside her feet.

Soft sobs woke her up. Dadimaa felt something clutch her heart when she found it was Maan as she switched on the side lamp. His face was hidden from her view but she could make out the tiny cries. He never came to her, not until there wasn’t something related to her health. He came when the doctor made an appearance and he had come when he brought Geet. Geet, again, was the reason for his arrival, Dadimaa knew.

Dadimaa- Maan…

He jerked, wiping the tears before looking at her thinking that he would fool her. Sorry. I woke you up. His voice was hoarse due to crying.

Dadimaa ran a hand over Maan’s head and he was dumbfounded by the act. For the first time in years there wasn’t hatred, anger or accusation in her eyes. Without his consent, a lone tear fell down his right eye. She didn’t comment on it. You look tired.

You are talking to me?

Dadimaa smiled sadly. Haan beta. I think you have been punished enough.

Overwhelmed by her generosity, he pulled himself up on the bed and tentatively reached forward taking Dadimaa in for a tight hug. When she hugged him back he buried his face in her weak shoulder. I am sorry Dadimaa. For everything.

Maan, humme pata hai aap sharminda hai aur aapne bahut saza bhugat li hai. It’s time Maan that you move ahead. Geet needs you.

Maine uska dil dukhaya hai Dadimaa. Usse bahut chot pahuchai hai. I have degraded her in every possible way. Par mai kya karta Dadimaa? Maine jo kia uski saza toh mujhe mill hi rahi thi, par mai usse kuch banana chahta tha taki maine jo uske saath kia wo uski zindagi ko aur na barbaad kare. I didn’t do it for myself Dadimaa, I swear. Maine usse jhut bola uske lie, koi aur raasta nai tha mere paas. Par mai swarthi ho gaya. I became selfish and god must have picked up on that, so he decided to punish me more. You know how I found her when I last saw her. In the bathroom, lifeless… her pulse was so weak. I was afraid tha- I couldn’t- mai usse kho nai sakta Dadimaa. Wo zinda rahegi tabhi mai jee paoga Dadimaa, lekin uske paas kabhi nai jaoga, usse aur dukh nai pahuchaoga. He blabbered shaking his head, eyes full of terror.

Maan… wo apse pyaar karti hai, aapke bina nai reh sakti.

He stilled as if slapped. No, she doesn’t. He retorted. She just thinks it’s her duty to love me because I am her husband. I have been the closest man in her life for more than two years so she infatuated.

Dadimaa shook her head. It’s not infatuation, Maan. Humne unka diwanapan dekha hai aapke lie. Wo aapse utna hi pyaar karti hai jitna ki aap unse karte hai. Her happiness, her future… everything lies in you. She was studying so hard so she could be worthy of you. She didn’t want to be a working woman, she wanted to just be your wife and have a family of her own. All she wanted was to give her children what she never got and fill your life with happin-

Just stop. He said revolted. Aap aisa soch bhi kaise sakti hai, after what I did to her when she was just 16… a child.

Apko iska ehsaas hai ke aapne galat kia hai. Maan insaan ek galti karta hai, par zindagi uss galti pe khatam nai ho jati. Uss galti ko sudharne ke baad aap aage badh jaate hai.

Galti aur gunaah me farq hai. It’s been almost 6 years; you didn’t utter a single word to me n you expect Geet to accept me?

Hum aaj baat kar rahe hai na aapse. Aapne uss ladki se bahut kuch cheena hai, aaj aap unki khushiya nai cheen sakte.

Aur issilie wo azad hai, mujhse aur mujhse judi har ek baat se. Mai usse bahut chahta hu Dadimaa, par yeh bhi jaanta hu ke usse paa nai sakta.

Dadimaa sighed, pitying him-seeing the naked ache on his face-he hadn’t just ruined Geet he had ruined himself all those years back in the process.

Silence fell over them and after a while Maan knew it was his time to go.Dadimaa, can I sleep here?

She couldn’t help the small smile. Aap bacche nai rahe Maan.

He blinked feeling embarrassed. Yeah you are right. He started to leave but she stopped him. 

Aap so sakte hai humare paas. I hope you haven’t started snoring over the years.

That you should ask from Ge- He caught his tongue and another wave of sadness submerged him. He got into the bed but knew that even Dadimaa couldn’t bring back his sleep.

In her room Geet felt restless. More than she felt every time. She again wasn’t feeling like eating n dropped the idea of doing her assignment unlike her plans. Closing the lights, she crawled into her bed although it was just 9:30 and she didn’t sleep this early, if she slept at all that is. There was a stirring inside her and she gripped the sheets tightly to herself. What could have gone wrong? She buried herself more into bed resisting the urge to go n check. It was unacceptable to feel anything close to worry for Maan but over the days the fog of intense anger and hurt had cleared a bit leaving behind the never ending musings, not like she didn’t have time. She just didn’t have that much time here.

She wanted to leave as soon as possible. She had already found a place cheap enough. If she asked Armaan’s brother to increase her hours at work she would be able to fund it. Although it would be difficult to manage the job then with college yet far better than living here where she felt strangled trapped in one room at her own will. There was always this fear that she would come face to face with Maan n break down again- in front of him. She had created a damn around her emotions n she was doing fine with that.

Her phone buzzed n she was gratified for the distraction. She opened the message. It was from a girl in her college inviting her to a club. Geet denied. Girlie, ya need to get out. Why r u always so down lately? M inviting u so u cud hav a lil fun.

Fun? What was that? Geet’s new idea of fun was not crying n thinking something which wasn’t painful. She decided to go. Perhaps that would distract her. She didn’t know this girl-Priya-too well. She had joined college this year only n Geet had known her for a few months although they weren’t close.

OK. I’ll be there. Tell me the place. She messaged back.

She met Priya outside the club. It was crowed and full of smoke. Not much, but Geet had visited clubs with friends before. This club she had never been to n it didn’t give her the right vibe. She blamed it on her mind which was restless even when she was at home. Although, soon she realized that it wasn’t because of her paranoia, there was actually something wrong with the club. It wasn’t a good place. So were Priya’s friends. She couldn’t recall any one of them.

*Mujhe kuch thik nai lag rha.* Geet signed.

Priya- Chill yaar. It’s a hardcore club. You are feeling odd because you have never been here. Just stay with me n enjoy.And she went off to the dance floor.

Geet stayed close to the bar where she could always locate Priya and remain out of the crowd. Some guys approached her for dance but she denied not liking the looks they gave and how their eyes roamed over her. With every song the crowd seemed to increase and the place began to close in around her. Bile rose in her throat and she felt scared. When Priya came back to get a drink, Geet desperately held her hand. *I want to go home.*

Priya- Par abhi thodi deer pehle toh tu aayi hai.

*Mujhe ghar jana hai, please.*

Priya made a face but agreed. Okay, I’ll drop you then. It’s getting late. She told goodbye to her friends and they walked towards the exit. However before they could leave a group of people swarmed the place, ambushing everyone inside. Geet was horrified to see that it was police. They started to arrest everyone. Some tried to run but couldn’t, all doors were blocked. Two officers arrested Geet and Priya pushing them out.

Priya- We didn’t do anything. She said but all were saying that only. The police didn’t hear anyone and they were all taken to station.

It was chaotic there, crying and pleading youngsters filled the place . Some were taken away to god knows where. Geet sat huddled in a corner unable to think a way out. She couldn’t talk to an officer and even if she could it would be useless. Tears clouded her vision while she stared at the activities going around with wide eyes. She had never seen a police station before and would never want to witness it again, that is if she got out of here today. Everyone was given an opportunity to make a call.

She can’t talk. Priya told when the officer pulled her to the table and asked her to dial the number. Can I talk on her behalf?

At officer’s approval, Priya turned to her. Whom do you want to call?

Only one name came to her mind.

Armaan was there within 15 minutes and bailed them out. Of course it was tricky and he had to call his brother whom the whole city knew. Priya was crying in the car. I am sorry. I didn’t know there were illegal activities going on in that club. Armaan shook his head, gritting his teeth. He dropped her outside the club where she took her car and left for her place. Then, Geet was alone with him in the vehicle. She sat still, her head lowered.

I can’t believe you could be that foolish. That girl is spoiled, how can you go to some club at her invitation alone without anyone of us?

*I didn’t really think.* She signed not raising her head, ashamed. She was arrested for god’s sake and Armaan had to come to get her out. What was she thinking going to some random club?

Armaan sighed. At least you called for me. He told her and she nodded. She was really lucky to have a friend like Armaan. If he wouldn’t have come to her aid, Geet didn’t know what she would have done.

After sometime she looked out of the window and realized that they were near KM. *Stop here. My house isn’t far; I can go by myself from here.* He stopped the car. *Thank you. Agar aaj tum na hote toh pata nai kya hota.*

You don’t have to thank me. He placed a finger under her chin and made her look up. Then only he saw her watery eyes and tear streaked face. Sign language was so convenient, she didn’t speak and so her voice couldn’t betray that she was silently crying. Shh, it’s okay. You didn’t know about the club and all. It happens. Bas ab se khayal rakhna, hmm? She nodded. Why I can’t leave you home?

*It would cause trouble if someone saw you dropping me.* Truth: It would cause trouble if he saw that she lived in Khurana Mansion. Geet felt pathetic for lying but she had no other option, her whole life was built on a lie.

I heard that you are going to soon share the apartment with Shivani of BSC-ID.

*Yeah. Shivani’s roommate is going to move out in a few days. As soon as that happens I’ll shift.*

                                                                                                                                                                                           

Is your family Cinderella-like? As in evil?

She smiled despite herself. *No, not Cinderalla-like. Still things aren’t as they should have been.* She told sadly and started to move out but Armaan held her hand.

I am worried for you.

Geet looked into his eyes. ‘I think he likes you. He feels strongly about you.’ Kushika’s words rang in her ears n she saw the feeling so crystal clear in his eyes. Love. She could practically feel it. How could she be so dense till now. Maybe because she was so much enclosed in her own bubble. Her heartbeat increased and throat went dry. And all this time she had been lying to him while he- she thought it was friendship.

*I am married.* She signed without thinking and didn’t regret her words.*You can’t drop me home because I don’t live with my parents, I live with my in laws and… husband.*

PRECAP- 

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