~BEZUBA~
~PART 33~
I am worried for you.
Geet looked into his eyes. ‘I think he likes you. He feels strongly about you.’ Kushika’s words rang in her ears n she saw the feeling so crystal clear in his eyes. Love. She could practically feel it. How could she be so dense till now. Maybe because she was so much enclosed in her own bubble. Her heartbeat increased and throat went dry. And all this time she had been lying to him while he- she thought it was friendship.
*I am married.* She signed without thinking and didn’t regret her words.*You can’t drop me home because I don’t live with my parents, I live with my in laws and… husband.*
Her hand fell from his and he was shocked to say the least. He stared at her face for some signs of humor or lie but there were none. After few seconds that were akin to ages, he blasted. Wha- why didn’t you tell me? Geet reared back by the force of his anger.
*I-I hid because my relationship was complicated and-*
And what about us. Me? He asked. Do you know I love you? All this time I was falling for you and you were already… married? Fucking married. How can you do this? He ranted and Geet sniffed in her seat. Eventually he calmed down or say had to because she was only crying n not helping much. Do you love him?
She nodded wiping her tears, for a change she wanted to be honest with Armaan. She loved that Maan who was unreal. Still she loved him and couldn’t spare those feelings to anyone else.
Get out. His clipped, sharp tone surprised her but she obeyed. His car sped off. She stood there crying but after sometime even tears refused to come out. Mindlessly, she started to walk towards KM. Armaan’s hurt face kept showing in her mind, she had never seen him like that and it made her feel sick. His reaction was totally justified. She knew what rejection in love meant. Heart was a very sensitive part and rejection made in it a little hole, it killed you slowly. Did she do wrong not telling Armaan about her marriage? She didn’t have any other option.
Just like Maan didn’t have any.
A small voice in her head said. *But he raped me. That is entirely different.* So you hate him for raping you or hiding the truth?The voice asked. *How does that matter?* She thought. It does… it does, once you sort out why you hate him you would know. She shook her head. Her mind wandered to that night. He had raped her thinking that she was Raji, the real sister but by mistake he corrupted the wrong sister, the cousin sister. Geet felt disgusted at the relief buried under all the other more potent feelings. She felt relieved that it was Maan that night and no one else. And if someone had to be corrupted that night by him, out of the two; she was relieved, again, that it was her, not Raji. Wasn’t she sick, glad on being raped? Geet thought mockingly. She reached KM and walked inside the outhouse. She stared for a long time at the closed door of his room downstairs then she walked upstairs to hers.
A persistent knock on the door broke her sleep and she rubbed her puffy, swollen eyes. There was no remembrance of when she had fallen asleep, she was awake till around dawn thinking and thinking all sort of nothings. Her head was so heavy n felt like she hadn’t slept at all.
She got up from the bed with a hazy mind and opened the door immediately regretting it. His gaze fixed upon her and she almost shielded her eyes. What was he doing here? He hadn’t bothered showing her his face in all these days. Not like she wasn’t thankful for it. She couldn’t stop her eyes from taking him in, all tight muscles on his tall frame. His face gave him away though. He appeared as tired as she felt, and it gave her a queasy satisfaction. His hairs were unkempt and stubble not as perfect rather overgrown. She met his eyes, their intensity pushing her lashes down but she didn’t cave in.
She looked famished and there were dark bags under her eyes. Wasn’t she eating or sleeping? The jab he felt was almost physical and it erased some of his anger. He couldn’t shout at her, not because he had no rights but because his heart wouldn’t allow. There was a colossal urge to engulf her in his arms no matter how hard she protested n make everything alright. Make her his. Only things could never be taken back to how they were just like how she could never be his. Ignoring her appearance, he said. I got a call from the police station. You were arrested last night.
As if she didn’t know. She wasn’t scared or sorry; he should be the last one to care. *I think I did. Sorry it caused you inconvenience. I don’t know why they would think of calling you.* She sighed and he found her so different. She was hiding the real Geet-his Geet-under that hard facade. Not his Geet. He corrected himself fisting his hands. Never his. She started to shut the door but he didn’t let her.
They called at homes of everyone who were arrested to inform what activities their wards were involved in. What were you doing at that club?
*Don't confuse yourself with someone who can question me.* She really didn’t want to talk to him and why he had to come? Why he had to pretend like it mattered? She couldn’t take it. His sight, his voice-anything. And surely she didn’t want the tears to make an appearance again. She remembered that the officers had recorded all information about the arrested people. *This isn’t my home. Soon you won’t have all these problems. Just like me, you’ll also be free.*
His eyes widened but he guarded his feelings and let out a sigh. There was a hit, a spot touched inside some column of her n she realized she missed him. How horrific… if only- if only he hadn’t- he hadn’t what?
Listen- He started but didn’t know what to say. She was innocent but always very sane. She had handled the big city, college, their marriage… everything so sensibly. He had no idea how she could be this careless, rash. She had gotten arrested and police station wasn’t a nice place for someone as naïve as her. I don’t want to impose upon you anything. But-God, if he said to be careful she might do the opposite just to spite him. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want her turning into a brat and, god forbid, get involved in wrong activities. He wanted no harm to touch her. She was staring at him, waiting for him to leave. He felt helpless, so much so that he pitied himself. He cleared his throat searching for words, n praying for her to not shut the door on his face. You should have called me.
*I have people who would help me without any concealed motives. I called Armaan.* She told to hurt him and waited for a reaction. She expected pain, jealousy-anything, something-but he didn’t show his feeling if he had any.
He swallowed the lump. This was what he wanted, her to move on. Not having faith on his voice, he just nodded and left from there. She closed the door and slid down to the floor.
It was Sunday and she was thankful for it. She couldn’t face Armaan. How similar was this to that day when after ragging she had hid in the house. She thought while resting against a tree in the garden. That time Maan had given her courage to face the situation… that night-she could never forget it. He was so understanding, so loving… and it was all fake? She looked up at the foamy clouds in the sky. Going back in the past what only she could associate with Maan were the good memories-his bringing her to Delhi, their bathroom encounter, the karwachaut, his jealousy over Armaan…those flowers. His taking care of her needs from a far. His rocky exterior n tender core. He had become her reason to live. She was so incomplete before meeting him, and later, she didn’t know when he crept in n made her so weak, dependable that all her days and night were filled with his name. Every thought, every dream was associated to him.
Coming back after those six long months he had been so nice. She just couldn’t erase those times from every cell of her mind when he had laughed with her-those movies he had endured because of her-his kisses, his sizzling touch that always set her on fire, and the way he looked at her with swirling desire which always enveloped her, transported her into some other world. The need that she had felt in him, his urgency- it was undeniable, compelling. She was-forced herself to be-disgusted. It was wrong. Not like she didn’t try, she did, to replace his image with what he really was but it was not happening. She wiped the tears that had started to wet her cheeks. It was just not happening. She wanted him. How do you live without someone who you were addicted to but who didn’t existed? Do you live at all?
Nakul’s calm voice pulled her out of inner musings. She hurriedly corrected herself and looked up at him with a smile on her face hoping that it was convincing enough.
Mujhe pata tha aap yahi hongi. Aapke ghar se log aaye hai.
She frowned, questioning inwardly. *Kaunsa ghar?* Standing up she brushed the dust and grass off her clothes and followed Nakul towards the main KM. First thing she saw was Maan, standing stiff, jaws clenched together tightly, turning she found people she had never expected to be there sitting on the sofa. Divya was there too.
Taayi ji, Taaya ji and Teeji Veerji hadn’t yet noticed Geet because she was frozen in her steps. With wide eyes she stared at them; they looked exactly the same-no change. It seemed just yesterday she had left them behind n not more than two years ago. A shiver went up her spine thinking about the times she had spent with them.
Divya- Geet you sit with your family, mai naashta le kar aati hu.Divya didn’t look very pleased but was cordial. She no more despised Geet with as much passion as she used to during the initial days.
All three heads snapped up and they were surprised to see Geet. She felt like putting a sheet over herself, their scrutiny made her skin crawl. If they had come it was surely for some reason.
Without any greetings Taayi ji started. Yeh kya pehen rakkha hai tune. Humne tujhe yeh sikha ke bheja tha. Sheher aakar tu saari sharam bhul gayi… haye Babaji ladki ne suhag ki nishani bhi nahi pehni-
Maan- Koi problem hai Taayi ji? I find nothing wrong in it. His voice was low and calm but it conveyed his message very clearly.
Taaya ji kept a hand on Taayi ji’s and she smiled-a purely fake one. Geet went ahead and touched elders’ feet. Divya brought tea and all and Geet’s relatives were thrilled by the welcome in grand KM. Maan didn’t leave the room even for a second watching them like a hawk. He didn’t trust them and knew like Geet that if they had come it was for a reason. Her relatives tried to strike casual conversation but Maan wasn’t in a mood to entertain them.
Maan- Aapka yaha kaise aana hua?
Taken aback by the straightforwardness, Taaya ji recovered quickly and signaled Teeji. He pulled out a magazine from his bag giving it to Taaya ji. Geet instantly recognized the edition. It had Maan on cover and inside was a descriptive article about his accomplishments outside India and his personal life. Taaya ji gave the magazine to Maan.
I have read it. Maan said irritated.
Humne bhi padha.
Aap padh sakte hai, wo bhi English? It was way too rude but Maan was like that only, if he didn’t like anyone they would know it because he didn’t put efforts in hiding the obvious.
Humne padhwaya kisi aur se. Isme likha hai ke aap shadi shuda nai hai. Humme jaante hai ke kisi ko nai pata ke aap aur Geet sath me ho. Bura mat manna Geet puttar par humme toh pehle hi pata tha ke yeh shadi thik nai hai. Tere lie itne bade sheher me rehna, wo bhi itne bade aadmi ke saath… aur tu bol bhi toh nai sakti. The pity in his voice didn’t make the words any less insulting and it did stung a little although she was used to it. Uss samay toh Maan ji ne jaldi me galat faisla le lia tha.
Galat? Maan asked and Geet saw the veins in his neck pop out from how hard he had his jaws clenched.
Taaya ji- Haan. Par hum smajhte hai, sabse galti ho jati hai.
Taayi ji supplied- Geet tu bhi toh khush nai hai, tabhi toh suhag ki koi nishani nai pehni tune.
Taaya ji nodded- Isslie hum tujhe wapas le jaane aaye hai.
Geet jolted not believing what she had just heard. They had come to take her? These were the people who had always wanted to get rid of her. Her eyes involuntary darted to Maan who sat calmly, his posture stiff but otherwise he looked ice cold. His next words surprised her but she wasn’t scared. She knew he wouldn’t let that happen, the belief stunned her.
Aur uski kimat kya hogi?
Taaya ji- Koi kimat nai hai, Beta. Hum toh bas tum dono ki madad karna chahte hai. Aur Geet toh humaari beti jaisi hai. Usse hum khushi se saath me rakh lenge bas uske kharche me kuch madad ho jaye toh behtar hai. Humaara parivar bada hai yeh toh tum jaante hi ho. Phir ek accha sa ladka dekhke Geet ki dusri shadi bhi karwani hogi, usse ke lie thodi madad.
All this for money. Geet thought disgusted. They had come to reap benefits from Maan on the expanse of their daughter’s marriage. When they considered her their daughter anyways? If they had even in the slightest bit they would right now talk to her too before buying her with money. They still behaved like she was some mute animal that would do everything as per their wish.
Maan- Kitni madad chahiye hogi?
Yahi kuch 10-15 lakh abhi ke lie. Taaya ji said shamelessly thinking that this was going to work.
Mai 50 lakh dunga. At Maan’s words his eyes sparkled with greed.Agar aap khud ko mujhe bech de aur iss ghar me naukar banke kaam kare.
Yeh kya keh rahe ho?
Maan- Aapko sharam nai aati apni beti ki shadi todte hue. Zindagi bhar aapne uske exploit kia, uski majburi ka fayada uthaya aur aaj jab wo aage badh gai hai toh aap usse phir se nark me ghasitna chahte ho?
It was a fact that a morally wrong person would be blinded by his corrupt thoughts so much so that no amount of wisdom could pierce through that blindness. Same fell true with Geet’s relatives; they didn’t know what was wrong because they didn’t care for anyone else other than themselves. To realize you have to care.
Tum hamari baato ko galat samajh rahe ho, hum bas tum dono ki bhalayi ke bare me soch rahe hai.
Teeji- Papa ji sahi keh rahe hai. Humne Geet ki shadi karwani chahi par kaha hui… gao me koi shadi nahi karna chahta tha isse aur dusre gao walo ne bhi mana kar dia. Ek toh bol nai sakti upar se kisi ne iska rape kar dia. Gandgi macha rakhi thi, pura gao thukta hai isp- His collar was in Maan’s hands and the air crackled with his anger.
Maan- Jitney ghinone tum ho, utni hi ghinoni tumhari soch hai. Jake keh dena apne gao walo se Geet ka rape nai hua tha. Wo uthi hi saaf hai jitna usse hona chahiye.
Geet looked at Maan, air knocked out of her lungs.
Teeji laughed- Tumhe kya pata… hum logo ne dekha tha-
Tum logo ne wahi dekha tha jo tum log dekhna chahte the. Wo admi mai tha jisne Geet ko uss raat- Maan gulped, breathing hard, sweat breaking out on his forehead. Maine uska rape nai kia tha, sirf kapde fade the, jo khoon uske kapdo pe tha wo mera tha.
Silence fell thick broken by Taya ji. Toh wo tum the… His colors changed in a moment. Tumne humari beti ke saath…? Tabhi tumne itni jaldi me usse shadi ki. Hey bhagwan aur humme laga… Hum kaise tumhara vishwas kar le, ab toh tum yahi kahoge ke tumne kuch nai kia. Tumhe pata hai hume aur humari beti ko tumhari wajah se kitni zillat sehni padi. Geet tu chal humare sath hum tujhe insaaf diwayenge.
By not saying anything to anyone and blackmailing Maan for money, Geet thought her tolerance giving up and everything in her screaming for this to end.
*Mai kahi nai jaa rai aapke sath.* She sighed. Her eyes filled with anger. She pushed Tayaji towards the door so they would leave.
Geet tumhari itni himmat, saari tameej bhul gai sheher aakar.Teeji walked towards Geet to slap her.
Teeji. Maan growled taking a step forward but Geet had Teeji’s hand stopped in mid air. She wasn’t anymore that meek girl who would let them walk all over her. Maan felt a rush of pride, her eyes were filled but she held Teeji hand with strength looking him in the eyes. Teeji was flabbergasted; she jerked his hand away and opened the door. Teeji wanted to fight. His screaming had all the servants coming; Maan directed them to throw the three out. Geet stood at the door and watched until they were out KM’s main gate lest they came back somehow. When she turned back Maan wasn’t there.
But he couldn’t run from her. Not today, not now.
A/N:
I suck at giving fast updates. Life’s pretty busy and these power cuts are getting on my nerves. Grr. Coming to this part, wasn’t it sensational? I hope so… only a couple of you had guessed it right although I had it planned since the very beginning.
Please everyone leave a comment. Bezuba’s very soon going to end n I really want to know your views-silent readers included.
Just a comment to make me happy
Waiting eagerly 
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