BEAUTIFULLY FLAWED, PART 40

BEAUTIFULLY FLAWED

PART 40

Next morning Geet waited in bed until Maan left. She pretended to be sleeping when all she wanted to do was pull Maan to herself and spill her heart out. Instead she firmly kept her cheek pressed to the bed n the sheet pulled up covering almost her entire face so Maan wouldn’t see the nasty bruise. Finally, Maan bent down to kiss her forehead before leaving for office and Geet wondered if he did the same every time she slept late.

Once he was gone, she heaved a sigh of relief and got up. Her leg was sour but better than the previous day; she put ointment on it and was positive by the time Maan returned she wouldn’t limp at all. The bruised cheek was another story. She experimented with makeup, trying to hide it as best as she could. Rest of the day went in similar manner- she decided what she would do, how she will behave… programmed herself for the lies. Lies that were an inseparable part of her life.

When Maan returned from office, Geet was absolutely normal. She had actually prepared a sabzi for him and it was edible. Maan praised her efforts but he knew something was massively off. For someone who had learned to read her because she often hid her feeling from the world, he knew she wasn’t as alright as she demonstrated so openly. She wasn’t meeting his eyes, her smile stayed just at her lips and didn’t make her eyes dance. Throughout the dinner, he waited desperately for her to tell him what the matter was. She didn’t.

It was both frustrating and painful to know that your life partner didn’t deem you worthy enough to be partner in their grief and problems. But he also understood that Geet was different; she had gone through much. It was difficult for her to let others in, even him. Despite the understanding he couldn’t wait more though and blurted out, What’s the matter?

Huh? What do you mean? She asked.

I know something is bothering you. What is it?

Nothing. She smiled as though everything was bright and merry.

Like a perfect actress she waved off his question, faking happiness. He saw beyond that façade. Despite everything that screamed for him to force the truth out of her, Maan held back. He also wore a mask. The mask of a perfect husband and friend who gave time to his wife, didn’t force her to do things she didn’t want to.

That night after they went to bed Geet was stiff, tension radiating from her. He laid on his side and Geet on hers. He couldn’t sleep the whole night.

The entire week things didn’t change. Maan found a change in Geet, he saw a side of her he hadn’t witnessed before. She was always a woman who was aware of her surrounding, paying attention, taking things in even if only as caution. Last few days she had been lost in some other world. She wasn’t herself. Maan loathed this change and he loathed the distance. Their kisses were brief n they hadn’t made love for over a week-which was unbelievable. He had probed her-not subtly, again n again-to tell him what was bothering her but she gave him the same answer, ‘everything is alright’. Again n again. As a result he started to stay at office for even longer durations because he couldn’t take her aloofness. He wanted to give her time, but with her stubbornness she was taking much more from him then just time.

Geet almost threw her phone against the wall, wanting to break it into hundreds of pieces. Dev just wouldn’t stop trailing her. He kept calling her day n night… calls that she didn’t answer and so came the threatening texts filled with obscenities informing her how she had committed a big mistake, how he was going to kill her slowly and make her regret her damn life. He was psycho and tough as she might try to feel, she was scared. He had attempted to murder Maan and he attempted to rape her. He was obsessed with the idea of Maan- of destroying him in whatever way possible. Maan was totally oblivious to Dev’s intents but Geet knew and she had to save him, and herself. How would she do it, when she couldn’t even save her relationship?

They hadn’t had sex for a week now. It was surreal. But every time Maan touched her, she felt she was betraying him, making him dirty- Dev flashed before her eyes trying to force himself upon her. If he had succeeded what would she had done? Hid that too from Maan? She hated herself for even thinking that.

During the past week, Geet never stopped Maan from touching her or kissing her but she wasn’t herself either when he approached tentatively. Maan detected it easily, he knew her too well. He wasn’t a man who could settle for less- he just didn’t want her physically, he wanted all of her. So they had maintained distance.

Geet was lying flat on the grass in the garden, looking up at the stars when Maan arrived. He was late again and she didn’t mind. She propped herself up on elbows when he stumbled out of the car, slightly swaying. Thank god he wasn’t driving, she thought looking at his condition. The driver and guards all left as Geet came to him. You are drunk?

He was regular drinker. He drank a glass here n there at parties and social gatherings but she had not once seen him consuming more alcohol than he could take.

Her husband just chuckled, not answering and walked inside. Neena had already taken leave so they were alone. I asked you something? Geet said as Maan removed his shoes, leaving them haphazardly on the floor. She felt like a typical wife, questioning her husband and it wasn’t a good feeling this time.

You ask like you care? Maan said slumping on the sofa, resting his head back.

His words stung. Of course I care.

Well, from where I stand you seem pretty indifferent. Whether I am alive or dead, whether I am happy or miserable.

You know that’s not true. She said taking his hand. I’ll take you to bed.

I don’t want to go to bed where we sleep like strangers. I don’t want to fucking live in this house where you pretend to be happy but you are not. Why don’t you just say it? I am not happy, Maan. In this house, with you, with this marriage.

I am happy. In this house, with you and with this marriage. Her voice shook and tears threatened to fall. Did he think like that? He was the best thing that had happened to her in her entire life, followed by their marriage. This house was her home. He was her home. She pulled him up but he freed himself from her hold. Holding her chin, he made her look into his black eyes that were filled with sadness.

Even now you are not being truthful. I know it. I can see it.

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